By Spike Milligan
'At Victoria station the R.T.O. gave me a shuttle warrant, a white feather and an image of Hitler marked 'This is your enemy'. I searched each compartment, yet he wasn't at the train'. Spike Milligan's at the march, blitzing buddy and foe alike together with his uproarious memories of military lifestyles from enlistment to the touchdown at Algiers in 1943. Bathos, pathos and gales of drunken laughter, and insane army goonery explode in superlative Milliganese.
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Extra resources for Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall (War Memoirs Vol. 1)
The whole body was now a purple shuddering mass! After several mammoth attempts to contain the cough, the mouth would finally explode open. Loose teeth would fly out, bits of breakfast, and a terrible rasping noise filled the room, Aweeioussheiough!!! followed by a long, silent stream of spume-laden air: on and on it went until the whole body was drained of oxygen, the eyes were popping, and veins like vines standing out on the head, which was now down ‘twixt knees. This atrophied pose held for seconds.
One night I found him face downwards near the Officers Billets, singing ‘The Lord is my Shepherd’; granted, it may have been a new way of holding services during heavy shelling. The Catholics had occasional visits from Father Holything who seemed horrified at the thought of any soldier having sexual intercourse. “Be careful of strong drink my sons,” he warned. ” It was great to know how to be a Christian, all you needed was an erection and a bucket of cold water. ” I never told him straight the women I knew were so loose they were falling to bits.
He said he remembered my father as the Mad (quarter-bloke, which explained a lot. ‘Busty’ Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted sense of humour made him a Lance Bombardier. Roberts went insane with power. The war now consisted of two people, him and Hitler. His command of the language gave off some classic gaffs. ” He was the supreme bullshitter. He would sleep to attention, polish his cap badge on both sides.